Funny One Liners

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Codename.47, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Please feel free to post any funny one liners

    Please make sure you don't post any offensive ones
    thanks
     
  2. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how the heck you did it
     
  3. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
     
  4. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Never test the depth of the water with both feet
     
  5. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Oh yea? If you're so smart, why don't I understand you?
     
  6. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening
     
  7. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
     
  8. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
     
  9. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Why is lemonade made with artificial flavoring, while dishwasher soap is made with real lemons?
     
  10. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
     
  11. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby .
     
  12. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest


    who says nothing is impossible....I did nothing all my life.

    :D
     
  13. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    "If you can’t dazzle them with your wit, bamboozle them with your bullsh*t."
     
  14. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are ;)
     
  15. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Every man/woman should marry - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
     
  16. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.
     
  17. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    I can't remember the last time I forgot something.
     
  18. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
     
  19. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view
     
  20. Codename.47

    Codename.47 Guest

    The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
     

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